Mixed Up
by othorbust3
Summary: She thought he wanted her best friend. He thought she didn't love him anymore. She needs him, but doesn't want to need him. He just wants all of her. A lot more drama in this one R&R! It's a BL. CHECK IT OUT!
1. Straighten Things Out

Brooke was lying on her bed in Rachel's room, flipping through the newest issue of Vogue. A lot had been on her mind lately; how she'd missed everyone that used to be in her life. Haley; she and Nathan had the baby and its soon-to-be arrival. Rachel; she was busy with her Maxim photo shoots as well as her conniving schemes she pulls. Brooke didn't want any part of that. There was Nick; her prohibited boyfriend whom cheated on her with a model anyways. Peyton; her best friend. Or...her ex-best friend. She missed her basically since the mad corruption with Peyton's stalker, "Derek". Brooke just wanted to be there for her, and it killed her to know she couldn't be; it was against the "rules". She'd secretly forgiven Peyton for what she did; she just couldn't let anyone know it. Not yet.

Then there was that blue-eyed boy who had her heart. It'd been a month since she'd broken things off with Lucas, and it was now hurting more than it had yet. She thought she'd be strong with this; that she could go on without him. She just simply wanted to prove to herself that she _could_ be without a guy and still be happy. Considering she'd gone through Nick already, that idea was out the window.

Lucas _did_ hurt her; that was no fabrication. All those days she'd see Lucas and Peyton sitting at a table, laughing and talking about God knows what; little things like. It was a world she wasn't a part of that belonged to Lucas. He didn't laugh with her anymore; never really checked in with her. And it wasn't that he necessarily should have needed to, either. He just should have _wanted_ to.

It wasn't about that kiss with Peyton; Brooke knew that the kiss was simply out of fear; that Peyton thought she was going to die. It wasn't about that. Not in the least. It was how they acted together. It was like; in this case, actions had spoken louder than romantic actions, if that makes any sense. And it hurt her; she knew that Lucas had a passion for Peyton in which he lacked for her. And even though she loved Lucas more than her own life, she broke up with him. For him. All for him. She wanted him to find what he was looking for. But now she was thinking for herself; she _had_ to make everything final. This was how Brooke was on Lucas's doorstep that Saturday evening.

She knocked on the door, as her was heart beating 100 mph.

-"_You told me to fight for you," Lucas had said. "And I did. But you never fought for me."_

_"And I'm not going to," Brooke's prideful, stubborn side broke through her true feelings._

_"Then I was wrong," Lucas told her, bluntly. "I'm not the guy for you, Brooke Davis_."

Brooke swallowed hard as she tried with all her might to push out the worst memory in her lifetime away from the centerfold of her mind, but she failed. It never left. There hadn't been a day that went by yet that those words from Lucas didn't cut through her heart, her soul, her well-being. It was hard to think about it without crying; in fact, it had never been done.

The door opened quickly, and Brooke took a sudden step back once she actually saw him standing there. Lucas was here. Now. This was really happening.

"Brooke?"

Brooke stepped passed him into his room and saw Peyton, lying on his bed with her arms behind her head, relaxed. Once Peyton saw Brooke, she shot up.

Brooke bit her lip at the sight of Peyton; she held in all the negative thoughts that were popping into her ruthless mind. "Hi, can we talk? Please."

Peyton looked at Lucas, who looked back at her, and she slid off the bed, pointing to the door.

"No, stay," Brooke said, closing her eyes. "Peyton, please stay. This is between all three of us." She opened her eyes and looked at Peyton, confirming that she meant what she said.

"I...uhm..," Peyton sat back down on Lucas's bed nervously. "All right."

"Okay," Brooke said, taking in a deep breath. "Look, I really don't know why I'm here, or what I'm planning on saying at all…" She looked away and down at the ground, suddenly feeling a sense of panic. _Was she really doing this_?

"Do you want to sit down?" Lucas asked out of the lack of anything else to say.

_So he treats me like some random guest; great_, Brooke thought to herself. "No, I'm fine," she declined. She turned to Peyton, sighed, and just started rambling. "You hurt me really bad, Peyton."

Peyton widened her eyes at Brooke's blunt comment. "Brooke-"

"-And I promised myself that I'd never _ever_ forgive you for stealing Lucas from me like that…."

"-Brooke, she didn't ever-" Lucas tried to cut in.

"But I never looked at the big picture," Brooke continued, despite their efforts of interrupting her. "Until now."

Brooke focused in on both Peyton and Lucas. "I…loved Lucas _so _much, Peyton. You accused me of not loving him, but you were wrong. I did love him; I was in love with him. I loved this boy more than…anything. It's un_fathomable_; the love I had for him." Brooke started to forget Lucas was actually there, the way she was talking.

Peyton winced as she looked at Lucas, who was just watching Brooke in a daze, almost.

"And I'm sure you knew that deep down," Brooke's eyes drew to Peyton's. "But I knew something, too. Something that…" She turned her eyes slowly to Lucas. "…Lucas didn't know. You were in love with him too, P. Sawyer. And Lucas…loved _you_ back. I didn't see this because I didn't _want_ to see it. " Brooke shrugged. "I was selfish; I admit it. I know I was."

"Brooke, _please_-"

"-I never just stepped back and watched you two. I never watched how you _talked_," Brooke said, looking up into Lucas's eyes, which were staring directly back into her beautifully broken hazel eyes. "You never talked to me like that anymore, Luke," she whispered in a low, raspy voice. "I missed that. I missed that part of you…and me." She looked back at Peyton to avoid Lucas's intent gaze that broke her heart. "You guys would laugh. That smile that I saw on his beautiful face…it came from you, Peyton."

Peyton sat down on the bed again and shook her head.

Brooke looked down at the ground. "I love you, Lucas. I really _really_ do; still. I…won't be able to ever love anyone like I love you," Brooke told him. She swallowed hard as tears swelled up in her eyes. "But you're in love with Peyton," she said. "And I just realized it. And I'm sorry for intruding…" Brooke looked at Peyton. "I thought it was me, and I was wrong. It's you."

Peyton looked at Brooke with tears in her own eyes caused by the pain she saw in her best friend. Then she looked slowly at Lucas, with inkling that maybe Brooke was right.

Peyton _did_ love Lucas. She'd wanted to be with him for months now, and she couldn't cheat on Brooke like that. Not again. But when Brooke blew up on her, it gave Peyton the desire to cling onto Lucas and make him question his feelings for Brooke; it had worked, or from what Peyton could tell. She wanted to prove Brooke once in for all that Lucas and she _did_ have a connection; that Lucas was truly in love with her; that Lucas was not "Brooke's boy", he was _hers_. All of this piled up on her as Brooke poured her heart out to both of them in full remorse. Suddenly, Peyton felt guilty and started to question her intentions.

"That's not true, Brooke," Lucas said flatly. "Not at all."


	2. QUICK AUTHOR'S NOTE!

**QUICK AUTHOR'S NOTE!**

--so i was just wondering...should i keep this story going or no? like..should it just be a oneshot?

please let me know..seriously..don't just tell me to keep going because you want to. tell me if it'd be better off if

it had more..or not..lol.

**THANK YOU!**.


	3. Letting Go When Not Necessary

**Thanks for the Reviews, guys. I guess I have no choice but to continue? Haha, it's a keeper. I'll see where this goes.**

"What?" Peyton asked quickly after Lucas's statement. She didn't even realize that she was so outspoken when she said it, but she was, considering the look Lucas just gave her.

"Lucas, don't say that," Brooke said.

"Don't say what?" Lucas asked. "That everything you just said isn't true to me?"

"Do you love Brooke anymore?" Peyton asked.

"Oh my God!" Brooke said, raising her voice for the first time since she'd been there. "Guys, _please_!"

Lucas stepped back and looked at the two girls whom he loved. He _did_ love both of them, and seeing this mess he'd caused was too much. "Me…and Peyton. We're just friends, Brooke. We aren't _in_ love with each other."

Brooke looked at Peyton quickly. _You haven't told him yet_? She thought.

Peyton avoided Brooke's glances, and continued to watch Lucas; she bit her lip.

"I don't know how many times I'm going to have to tell you that until you believe me…" Lucas said.

"Actually…." Peyton started.

"I'm…going to go," Brooke cut in quickly, stepping back to the door.

Peyton shot up, grabbing Brooke by the arm. "Nuh-uh. You're not going anywhere; you made me stay. You're staying, too."

Brooke sighed and felt tears in her eyes. _Don't cry, Brooke. God, just don't cry. Not now_, she kept telling herself.

Peyton let go of Brooke and slowly turned to Lucas.

"What?" he asked apprehensively. "What's going on?"

"I…do have feelings for you, Luke," Peyton said. "I was going to tell you, but I wanted to wait till you and Brooke were for sure…_over_."

"You _what_?"

"Please, just let me go," Brooke said, roughly. "I have no business…"

"You started it," Peyton told her. "You're not leaving this."

Brooke swallowed hard, and held onto the doorknob behind her. The truth was, she was scared to death of what Lucas was going to do now.

"I don't know what you're wanting me to say…." Lucas said, with a shrug. He stood there with his hands in his pockets. He had a scared look on his face; all of this was too much for his own heart, much less the two girls'. He knew how he felt, but he couldn't hurt them. He cared enough for both of these girls that it killed _him_ to see either of them hurt.

"Tell Peyton that you're really in love with her, please," Brooke told him. "So I can go, and you guys can be happy for once."

Lucas put his hands on his hips and looked down. "I _can't_."

"_Please_," Brooke pleaded; the tears had slowly forced themselves out.

"I can't _do this_, guys," Lucas said. "It's tearing all of us up."

"Lucas!"

"I love you both, all right?" he told them. "I'm in love with…" Lucas shook his head and swallowed hard.

_It's too much for him_, Brooke thought with panic. _It's too much for his heart_.

"Lucas, do you want me or her?" Peyton asked.

Brooke looked at Peyton quickly. _No. Don't make him do this_. Brooke opened the door quickly.

"Don't leave."

"I'm not," Brooke said quickly. "I'm not." She swallowed hard. "Lucas, I don't want you to do this. Go clear your head, _please_. I'm sorry for coming over..…"

"Brooke, he's not going to just have a heart attack from saying who he's in love with," Peyton said. "Quit trying to avoid this."

Brooke looked at Peyton abruptly and slowly back at Lucas.

He nodded and walked out the door. As he walked through the doorway, he turned around. "Don't be sorry that you came over here, Brooke. Be _anything_ but sorry."

Brooke was still gripping onto the doorknob as she watched Lucas. She was trying to read him, but what was she supposed to say? She _was_ sorry. She knew she brought this ordeal back into their lives; she knew that Peyton and Lucas could've been happy for a little while. For a little while. And what about her? She was sick of pretending that she wasn't thinking of herself for once. She was sick of playing 'selfless Brooke'; that Brooke hurt her too much, because it never made her heart happy. Never. With that thought, she simply nodded to him.

And he left. He walked out of his room, off of his own property, leaving Brooke and Peyton in his room.

It was easily 3 minutes that had went by before the two girls said anything. They stood in the same spots Lucas had left them in.

"Why?" Peyton asked Brooke, as she set down on the bed again.

Brooke looked at Peyton quickly, startled at the one-worded question.

"I thought you were over him or something….why couldn't you have just left us alone, Brooke?"

Brooke sensed the reality in this question; Peyton wasn't trying to be snotty or selfish. She was seriously asking this. She was in love with this boy, too. She didn't know what to say.

"He loves you more than me, Brooke," Peyton said flatly. "Every single time." Peyton looked straight forward. She crossed her arms close to her chest.

"Yeah. And Nathan loves me more than Haley," Brooke said sarcastically. "And Romeo? He loves me more than Juliet, too."

Peyton turned her head to Brooke. "Why don't you believe me? Ever? I try to be serious with you and you turn it into sarcasm."

"Because it's not true," Brooke simply stated. "You might think that but you don't see him around you like I do. I _was_ with him Peyton. Twice. He _did_ say he was in love with me. Seven times." Was it so bad that she'd counted how many times he'd told her his love for her?

"Oh yeah. Poor Brooke. Lucas told you he loved you only seven times. You're roughing it."

"Thirteen," Brooke said.

"What?"

"Lucas went to you over me thirteen times," she finished. "Yeah. Poor Peyton. Lucas only chose to tend to her over his own girlfriend thirteen times. _You're_ roughing it."

"Why do you do this? Why do you go out of your way to make other people feel guilty?"

"I'm not doing anything on purpose. You think I want to feel like this?" Brooke asked. Then she just looked at Peyton for a minute. "Why….do you feel guilty?"

"No," Peyton said quickly.

Brooke nodded with a sigh. "I'm done here," she said. "I'm gonna go."

"Where are you going?"

Brooke stepped in the doorway to leave, turning her back to Peyton. "I don't know."

"Lucas is going to come back here, Brooke," she said. "You know that, right?"

"Yes," Brooke turned around and took another step back out the door. "Look, Peyton. I know we're not friends anymore, and I'm sure I have no right to ask you this. But…just take care of him for me, all right?"

"What do you mean?"

Brooke shrugged. "Just take care of him for me. He's not as strong as you think." Then with that she turned around and left.

Lucas was sitting in Nathan and Haley's apartment. He and Nathan were sitting at the breakfast bar. "You think something could be wrong, Nate? I mean, I know Brooke. We all do, and she doesn't just try and settle things like that."

Nathan shrugged, as he took a drink of his coffee. "Or maybe she just wanted to say sorry."

Lucas considered as he looked down into his cup.

"How'd Peyton like this?" Nathan asked.

"I…I don't know. She was as shocked as I was," Lucas said. He hesitated before he told his brother the rest. "And….she kind of told me she had feelings for me too."

"_Peyton did_? Well it's about time!"

Lucas looked at him with a confused expression.

"Face it, Luke. You two are it for each other," Nathan said. "You and Peyton. She's always been there. Think about it. She was the first on you fell for. She was the one you cared for the most…"

"Before I knew Brooke."

"Right, but Peyton's….Peyton's different. I secretly have been rooting for you two…"

"Really?" Lucas asked surprised. "Me and _Peyton_?"

Nathan nodded with a smile.

Haley walked into the kitchen and leaned against the bar as well. "I disagree."

"Eavesdropping again?" Nathan asked with a laugh.

She smiled. "What I do best."

"What do you mean you disagree, Hales?" Lucas could get all the help he could get. Especially from his best friend.

"You and Brooke belong together," Haley said. "It's simple as that."

"How do you figure?" Nathan asked.

"They've made each other better people. And she's in love with him and loves him enough to let him go. She thinks he loves Peyton," Haley said. "And he doesn't." Haley looked at Lucas, then back to Nathan to continue. "And he thinks he loves Peyton too. But in his heart he knows that Brooke will always hold a certain spot that Peyton will never be able to fill."

"I like how we're pretending Lucas isn't here right now," Nathan laughed.

Lucas stayed silent as he took another drink. He hated having to choose between things, especially when it came to love. He knew who he was in love with. And apparently she knew it too. That wasn't the hard part. The hard part was telling the other girl he didn't feel that way for her.


	4. Need Me, Need You

**Thanks for the reviews again. I love the feedback. This'll probably be the last update before Christmas, so I'm telling you now: MERRY CHRISTMAS! **

**Good things will happen this chapter; my gift to you.**

Brooke woke up the next morning at about 11:00. She hadn't heard from either Lucas or Peyton since the previous day's incident, but that wasn't a bad thing in her eyes. Honestly, she didn't know what else she was supposed to do. She was over Lucas, and she was over Peyton. She was over Lucas and Peyton. At least that's what she enjoyed telling herself, even though it never turned out to be the case.

"What're you doing?" Brooke heard. She turned her head to see Rachel in the doorway of her big closet putting on shoes.

Brooke stretched her arms and sat up slowly. "What do you mean _what am I doing_?"

"I mean it's 11:00 and you're in bed. Still. Get your sorry butt up and do something."

Brooke rubbed her eyes. "Do _what_? Where are you going?"

"Lunch. Want to come?" she asked. "I'd grab a coat though, it's sort of cold."

"It should be. It's December," Brooke said.

"Come on," Rachel said.

"Ehh," Brooke complained.

"It's the only chance you'll get to see everyone together for Christmas. Come on."

"Who all's going?"  
"Oh you know. The usual," Rachel said, matter-of-factly. "Mouth, Haley, Nathan…"

"That's it?"

"Oh well Bevin's coming too," Rachel said. "And Peyton and Lucas." Rachel finished, laughing at herself. She lived to torment the crap out of Brooke.

Brooke groaned and laid back down, throwing the covers over her head.

"Thinking about it?" Rachel said as she buttoned up her coat.

"No," Brooke said. "But I _am_ thinking about moving out of this crackwhore's house."

Rachel laughed again and walked to the door. "I'll be sure to tell Peyton hi for you.

"Do what you want. But just leave me out of it all, please."

"Oh, that won't be an issue." With that, Rachel walked out of the room.

They were all sitting at the café waiting for Lucas to show up at 12:00. "Where is he at?" Nathan asked.

"He said he was coming," Haley defended. "I talked to him this morning."

Peyton was afraid for him to come. She hadn't seen Lucas since Brooke had; she'd waited and waited for him to come back to his house, but he never did.

"Is he….with Brooke?" Mouth asked, noticing she wasn't there either.

"Are you kidding me?" Peyton said.

Everyone looked at her. She took a drink of her pop quickly.

"Brooke was in bed moping when I left her," Rachel spoke up. "She definitely hadn't seen Lucas."

Haley whipped out her cell phone and speed-dialed Lucas.

"Hello?"

"Luke, are you coming?" Haley asked.

Lucas was walking out on the pier with two cups of coffee, trying to hold them with one hand and his phone at the same time. "Uhm…"

"To the café, Lucas. For lunch with everyone," Haley clarified impatiently. She knew he couldn't have forgotten that quickly.

"I'm sorry, Hales," Lucas said. "I don't think I can make it."

"What're you doing that you can't make it?"

Lucas took a drink of his coffee as he set the other one down on a rail overlooking the cold ocean. "Is Brooke _there_?"

"No, she wouldn't come," Haley said slowly.

"I'm not going either then," Lucas stated simply.

"You're not making sense, Lucas."

"I'm getting Brooke back, Haley. What is there to make sense of?"

Haley smiled to herself. _Yes_, she thought. "Oh. Wow. Uhm…"

"Is Peyton there at the café or something?" he asked, ignoring Haley's stuttering.

"Uhm, yeah," Haley answered. "She sure is."

"Well tell her that I need to talk to her for me, okay?" Lucas said.

Haley looked around at her friends who weren't paying attention to her and she sat in her chair sideways, stood up and walked over to the counter pretending to get a straw for her coffee. "Right…right _now_? Lucas now wouldn't be a good time to break a girl's-"

"Haley."

"I'm just saying. I think you should wait at a time when the surrounding's are more efficient…-"

"Haley. Stop talking," Lucas laughed. "I wasn't going to do that right now."

"Why are you in such a good mood about this?" Haley asked, happy to hear the joy in his voice.

"I don't know. I just realized that I'm going to spend the rest of my life with this girl…"

"Haley let me talk to him," Peyton said abruptly.

Haley jumped and saw that Peyton was standing right next to her at this point. "Wh-what?"

"I said I'm happy because-" Lucas started.

"Not you, Luke. Hold on." Haley put her hand over the speaker and looked back at Peyton. "What, Peyton?"

Peyton held her hand out. "Let me talk to him."

Haley handed her phone to Peyton hesitantly. What was she supposed to say to her? _No_? Right.

"Lucas?"

Lucas felt jolted a little bit at the voice of whom he thought he loved but was wrong. "Peyton?"

Haley backed away slowly and sat back down with her six straws that she pointlessly had in her hand.

"Look, I just wanted to tell you something," Peyton said.

"What's that?" he asked, trying to sound casual.

"Please be with Brooke. Don't think you love me, because you really don't, and I know it. I understand it now. I mean…I thought you loved me. I really did. And you do. But not like Brooke. It's not what you have for Brooke. You're in love with Brooke. And she's not happy without you. I don't want to see that missing piece I see in her when she's not with you. She's not the Brooke Davis that I know when she's lacking you in her heart."

Lucas looked down at his hands. Even though she'd just said everything that he needed to tell her, it felt so much worse to hear it from her. He felt horrible, because he knew he was breaking her heart. "Peyton…."

"Is it true?" Peyton asked. "Tell me I'm right." A distant part of her hoped and longed that she wasn't right. But she knew the answer.

Lucas swallowed hard. "You're…right."

Peyton looked down and felt tears come in her eyes. "Okay," she whispered. "Take care of her for me. Because I can't anymore."

Lucas nodded to himself. "Peyton we're still…we're still friends, aren't we?"

Peyton shook her head. At this point she was sitting on the ground back in the supply closet of Karen's Café. "I can't be friends with you Lucas. Not yet. I need…time."

Lucas set down his other coffee and put his cold hand into his pocket. "Peyton…I'll always be here for you. All right? Don't think that I'm not just because I have Brooke too. I want you in my life too, you know."

"You don't have her yet," Peyton said. She took it back before she even realized she said it. She was slightly bitter to give Lucas up to Brooke like this, but she knew she had to do it. It was just hard to let go of someone else she loved.

"What?"

"Never mind," she whispered. "Just…never mind."

Lucas licked his cold, chapped lips.

"Bye, Luke," Peyton said. And quickly she shut Haley's phone. She sat in the supply room and cried. Haley soon came in to comfort her friend, for she knew what was going to happen before the rest.

Brooke was still lying in the bed at 1:00. She had no reason to get up, so there she lied. _'I mean it's 11:00 and you're still in bed. Get your sorry butt up and do something_' Rachel's words replayed in her mind.

Brooke scoffed. "I really need to find a better roommate," Brooke said out loud to herself.

"Why, Rachel's not the angel you wanted her to be anymore?" Brooke heard. She opened her eyes wide at the voice and looked over at the door.

Lucas. He was standing in the doorway with the two coffees in his hands. He smiled.

"What're you doing here?" she asked, sitting up. She wrapped the comforter tighter around her body as she did so.

Lucas walked in the room and handed her one of the coffees. "Double mint Mocha Latte with extra whipped cream."

Brooke slowly reached for it. It was her favorite Christmas flavor. She wasn't even with him the previous Christmas, and he still knew this. She stirred it with the stirrer suspiciously.

"I forgot my poison at home. You're safe," he joked.

Brooke looked back at him. "What are you here for, Lucas?" she asked, cutting to the chase. She took a drink of her coffee. _Delicious_, she thought.

"You're here," Lucas said, sitting Rachel's bed, drinking his own coffee.

"Lucas, we're not together anymore. You can't just come visit me and not give me a reason why," Brooke said.

"Why?"

"Have you met me?" she asked. "I don't allow it. Now why are you here?"

"I talked to Peyton today," Lucas said. He looked down into his cup and shook it around.

Brooke didn't talk. She didn't want to hear the rest of this at all.

"She knows that I don't want to be with her. And she told me to take care of you," Lucas said.

"You _told _her you don't want to be with her? Lucas she's in love with you," Brooke said.

"Brooke, I'm not in love with _her_," he said. "And no. I didn't tell her that. She…told it to me. And I told her she was right."

Brooke watched him quizzically. "What are you saying?"

"I don't know," Lucas said. "But I _do_ know what I want to say."

She bit her lip. "Well don't say it. Because in a year from now, we'll end up right here again. And quite frankly, I don't want this anymore. It's too many nights of no sleep. It's too many days I don't want to get out of bed simply because I don't find the use. It's too many days that I'm not myself. And if I don't have myself…I don't have anything. I need myself, Luke-"

All in one motion, Lucas cut her off with his lips. He held her kiss, and he felt her kiss him back. With that he opened his eyes. "I need you too."


	5. We're Not Together

**Thanks for the reviews; you never let me down. I'm sorry for such a big break. I've just sort of randomly strayed away from the computer there for a little bit, but I'm due for this update. Keep the support coming. **

**Without further ado...new chapter. :**

"And he _kissed_ you?!" Haley asked excitedly. " Man, I knew Lucas was smarter than I was giving him credit for. So what...are you guys together now?" Haley shrieked. "Ahh, I'm so happy for you; this is great!"

"No," Brooke said, as she moved some folded laundry into her drawers. "Haley, Lucas and I aren't together." Brooke bit her lip and continued with her business as if it were nothing.

"Brooke. Wait, what? He _kissed_ you again. And told you he needed you," Haley said, shaking her head. "I'm not following."

--Flashback--

"_I need you too," Lucas said warmly, holding onto Brooke's fidgety hands._

_Brooke pulled back from him and blinked a couple of times. "No. No, no no."_

_Lucas focused onto what she said, trying to grasp her point of her repeated 'no's. _

_"This can't happen Lucas. I told you; I'm not that girl anymore. We're not who we used to be anymore, okay?" Brooke stood up and walked over to her closet just for a distraction, not for any reason whatsoever._

_"I know we're not the same. But we can grow. We'll be better, I promise. I've learned so much since the last time and-"_

_"So have I," Brooke said, turning back around quicky to face him. She put her hands on her hips naturally. "Lucas. I can't be with you. I can't."_

_Lucas's heart dropped to his toes, and he felt like he was going to throw up right there. _

_Brooke, holding back tears, took a deep breath. "I...have...a lot on my plate right now...Lucas." She swallowed hard and looked from him. " Just let me go. You don't have to be with Peyton; you saying that you're not in love with her doesn't change me in this any more."_

_"What's going on with you, Brooke?" Lucas asked immediately; almost as a reaction to hearing something's wrong._

_Brooke sighed and walked back around the bed to him. She sat on the bed next to him and took his hands in hers. "Lucas, let me go." _

_Lucas looked into her eyes; her tear-filled eyes. He felt tears of his own start to accumulate and he tightened his eyebrows. Shaking his head, he finally formed words. "Brooke, I will never be able to let go of you."_

_Brooke looked down and stood up. "Please." She couldn't look back into those eyes of his; it was tearing her apart._

_"I can't," Lucas said, shrugging. "I won't."_

_Brooke walked to the door at once before she got emotional in front of him. Turning back in the doorway one more time, Brooke pushed her hair out of her eyes. "I need you to do this for me." With that, Brooke turned around and left_.

--End Flashback--

"Haley, I just...I can't do that, you know?" Brooke said.

"No, I don't know. I don't understand. I thought you wanted back with him. I thought you were still in love with him, Brooke."

Brooke sighed and sat down on her bed, setting a folded sweatshirt down next to her. She looked up at Haley. "That's my problem. I am still in love with him, Haley. That's why this is harder for me than I need it to be."

Haley furrowed her eyebrows as she tried to read her best friend. "Brooke...what's going on?" she asked with sincerity.

Brooke raised her eyebrows, pretending that she didn't know what she was talking about. She shrugged and shook her head. "I don't know...what you're referring to."

"No. Don't pull that with me. I can read you, Brooke Davis. Call me a female Lucas Scott; I can read right through you," Haley said, pointing at her. "Talk to me."

"Seriously Haley?" Brooke said sternly. "Everything's just fine."

Haley wasn't buying it at all, but she let it go for Brooke's sake; she obviously didn't want to open up now. She probably didn't even blame her.

Haley stood up and wrapped her sweater around her large, popping belly.

"That baby boy's just about to come out, huh?" Brooke said, lightening the mood.

Haley rubbed her stomach and smiled. "Three more weeks," she sang.

"He's going to be the best dressed little kid thanks to his Aunty Brooke," Brooke said with excitement. "Not to mention the hottest Scott boy yet."

Haley laughed and shook her head. "He's got big shoes to fill."

"Psht. Too bad that's the truth," Brooke said with a heavy sigh.

Haley tightened her sweater and put on her gloves. "Well I need to get going, Brooke." She walked over to the door, taking the knob in her hand.

"All right. See you later?" Brooke said, finishing putting her clothes up.

Nodding, Haley turned back to Brooke. She hesitated for a minute, then spoke. "Brooke, don't push him off too much, okay? You finally have all of him."

Brooke looked up at Haley sharply. "Haley, you...I just..." she stuttered, trying to find the words to say. Finally giving up Brooke simply answered with an: "I know."

----------------------------------------------

Lucas was sitting on top of the picnic table at the rivercourt, just watching the court with a ball between his feet. Why he wasn't playing, he did not know. He didn't even think of it, he only had one thing on his mind.

"Luke, pass it up, bro," Skillz said, as he jumped to the three point line ready for the pass.

Lucas looked up, almost as if he were caught off guard by Skillz's presence, despite the fact that he'd been watching him walk up and over the hill. Slowly, Lucas bent down and passed Skillz the ball.

Skillz caught it, looked down at the ball and back up at Lucas, and held the ball against his side. Shaking his head, Skillz put the ball down on the ground. "I know you're not playing all that much in these games, dawg, but that pass was _weak_. Even for you."

Lucas slid off the table and walked over to Skillz to pick up the ball. All in one motion, he swished a three-pointer, flat-footed. "Weak. I know."

"What's got you, man?" Skillz asked, walking over to rebound the ball. "Peyton? Brooke? Shoot, maybe it's that cute broadcasting girl GiGi this week, for all I know."

Lucas chuckled, putting his hands in his pockets.

Skillz looked at Lucas intently. "I call it. It's Brooke, isn't it?"

Lucas looked at him confusedly.

"Ahha," Skillz said. "I'm so right, and you know it."

"Yeah. Yeah, it's definitely...Brooke," Lucas said. "Everything...is Brooke."

Skillz rolled the ball to the side and walked over to Lucas. "I think you're going to have to joing a monestary or something, bro. That girl's keeping you sore on women."

Lucas swallowed hard. "No, no. Not women. Just life," Lucas said. "It wouldn't be so hard if I didn't love her so much, Skillz."

Skillz put his hands on his hips and looked down.

"She told me to let her go," Lucas continued. "What am I supposed to say to that?"

"Well I hope it wasn't something to the effect of 'okay' that you went with!" Skillz said.

"Didn't say that."

Skillz nodded. "At least you did that one right."

"I don't know. Skillz, I think something's wrong with her. Like...something deep. Something..._really_ wrong. She's not herself at all. And it's scaring me," Lucas said. "And it scares me more that she's not wanting me around to be there for her."

"Sure she is," Skillz said. "She wants you around, dawg. It's just harder for her; so she figures just to tell you to 'let her go' so she knows that it won't hurt as bad if you yourself choose not to be there when you're not there."

Lucas put two and two together. "Somehow, I got what you just said."

Skillz shrugged.

"Since when have you become such a woman mind reader?"

"It's a perk to being Notebooked at a young age, I guess," Skillz said, smiling, and crossing his arms.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Peyton laid in her bed slowly, feeling an immense feeling of loneliness. But it was weird to her; it was a new kind of loneliness. It was a kind she'd chosen, and for some reason, she found it ocmforting. She felt independent for once in her life; she didn't need a Lucas, a Brooke, a Jake or a Derek. Peyton needed herself; it was just hard to convince herself that she could really stick with herself and _just_ herself.

She sighed heavily and picked up her ipod which was laying on her stomach. The next song on the shuffle list was Pretty Girl by Strays Don't Sleep. _Pretty Girl_, Peyton thought. _That's what Lucas calls Brooke. Pretty Girl. Why didn't he ever call me anything like that?_

"Erghh. Cool it, Peyton. You're fine without a Lucas. You don't need him; you don't even _want_ him," Peyton said out loud, even though she knew she was lying to herself. "You don't need anyone."

'_Of course you do_,' Peyton heard. She jumped up and saw that gothic angel of hers sitting on a chair by her closet. '_A bulldog painted over your bed. Hmm...I guess it's a lot more catchy than a mirror.'_

"What in the hell are you doing here?" Peyton asked. "And besides, you're a mock-up of me. So you just idiotically insulted yourself."

'_Why do you think you're so tough? You think you're some badass to me, but when I watch you from a distance, all you need is someone else. Derek...Derek part 2...Lucas. Brooke. Oh and Pete Wentz? I would say Jake, but you clearly showed him that you didn't want him-'_

"What are you getting at?" Peyton said. She thought about the last time her guardian-angel-from-hell had 'blessed' her with her presence, and she remembered that it was about Ellie. "Ellie's dead, you know. I found her like you made me do the last time...she's dead."

'_She would've died regardless. She had cancer. She was dead before you got to her; you waited too long. Nice play, Shakespeare!'_

"I didn't kill her. She knew how I felt about her," Peyton said. She looked down at her ipod and shut off the song that she'd turned down. "What do you mean about Jake? You said that I 'clearly showed that I didn't want him'; I...never showed that. What're you-"

'_Of course you did. Please, Peyton. You make **me** feel stupid when you say things like that.' _her angel conceded. '_You shoved off Jake, a guy who was deeply in love with you, for a guy that you 'loved' but couldn't have. Which made you feel obligated to want more. You know what that's called? Selfish.'_

"Jake told me to leave. He told me I loved Lucas; if you were any part of me, you'd know that," Peyton fought.

_'And you were dumb enough to listen to him.'_

Peyton looked away for a second. "Wait...what?"

Her angel shrugged and before Peyton could get another word in, she was gone.

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Brooke was standing in front of her closet, pulling her hair up into a loose ponytail as she decided what she wanted to put on for the day. She didn't know what she was dressing for; she wasn't planning on seeing anyone in which she wanted to look presentable for. She just simply felt that she might as well look her best now before she got to the days where that wouldn't matter anymore.

Then it came back. A sharp, excruciating pain in her abdomen. They were starting to be anticipated lately, for they've come consistently now, these rapid pains. Brooke winced as she slowly bent down onto her knees. She took a deep breath and let it out. _It'll go away quick. It always does_, Brooke told her self. _Just breathe_.

But it wasn't going away this time. "Ahhh," Brooke cried, as she scrunched up against the wall, crying as lightly as she could so it wouldn't hurt more than it already was. Brooke clutched herself with one arm as she slowly grabbed for her phone, which had dropped to the floor. All she could do was push 'contacts' before her phone started to ring. Brooke put it to her ear and just listened.

"Brooke?" Lucas asked. "Brooke, Haley's in labor! She and Nathan just went to the hospital. I'm sorry for calling you like this after..everything..but she really wanted me to call you..." Lucas noticed she hadn't said anything.

Brooke let out a low whimper Lucas could barely make out.

"Brooke?" he asked. But he shook it off with all the excitement of Haley's state. "Look meet me at the hospital, alright? I'll wait for you in the lobby or something."

Barely even being able to breathe now, Brooke sobbed. "Luc-...H-help me." Then she dropped her phone, and she dropped to the floor.

**????? Is this an alright route I'm taking it? I think it's for the best; I have a lot in mind now...I've opened a whole new path for my story. Let me know what you thought. Suggestions maybe? Review please! **


	6. JUST FYI

**-- Just FYI...**

**I'm not making Brooke have cancer. I just reread this chapter and my footnote at the end, and it probably looks like that's what I'm doing. But I'm not; that storyline is played-out. I have another direction I'm taking this...the little spell Brooke had at the end may not even be the thing going on...**

**Sorry, I just wanted to clear that up with everyone.**


	7. Now

**Oh my dear, I'm terribly sorry for this huge delay. Surprisingly, though, I had the world's hugest writer's block with this one. I mean, I knew what I wanted to do with it, but I didn't know how. So just read and review and let me know what you think; I believe I'm ultimately happy with it.**

"Haley, it looks like your contractions are approximately 6 minutes apart. If everything plays out well, it won't be much longer now," Dr. Windsor said to Haley.

Haley was doing her breathing, holding onto Nathan's hand. Nathan was a nervous wreck, but it was all he could do not to show it right now. Not in front of Haley.

"Where's Brooke?! She needs to be here," Haley said. "And Lucas. Nathan are they here?"

Nathan laughed. "Don't worry about who's in the waiting room, Hales. They'll be here." He reached up and wiped some perspiration from her forehead.

"Nathan, I'm scared," she said, after she saw Dr. Windsor had stepped out.

"It'll be fine. Everything'll be perfect. We'll have our son, and be a family. You'll...you'll see," he said. "I promise."

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Brooke moved over onto her back. The pain started to settle into just one spot rather than all over. She inhaled deeply and looked up. Haley was having her baby right now. Her best friend was giving birth, and she couldn't get there. She couldn't even move. "Someone get here," she cried.

Brooke remembered who was on the phone with her finally. She was in so much pain prior to this thought that she didn't even give much thought to the voice being _his_.

It wasn't five minutes till she heard the door open and slam against the wall. "Brooke?"

Brooke didn't say anything, she just wiped her eyes.

Lucas walked around the open closet door and looked down at Brooke, who now had her knees brought up to her chest. She was still sobbing.

"Luke, she's going to die," Brooke said.

He furrowed his eyebrows, as he kneeled down beside her. "Brooke, she's having a baby. She's not dying."

Brooke shook her head. _Not Haley, stupid. You don't even pay attention to me, do you?_ Brooke thought to herself.

"Are you okay?" Lucas asked sincerely. Clearly seeing that that was a dumb question, Lucas picked her up in his arms and carried her with him to his car. He drove as fast as he could to the hospital.

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"Peyton?" she heard again. She jumped up getting ready to fight with her angel again but saw Mouth standing in her doorway instead.

"Oh, Mouth." She pulled her comforter around her bare arms and pushed her hair out of her eyes.

"Hey, have you seen Brooke?" he asked. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been in Peyton's room. It'd definitely been over a year, and that was with Brooke. "I tried calling her earlier a couple of times and it was busy. She's not home either..."

"I haven't talked to her." Peyton pursed her lips and shrugged. "Why, do you need her?"

"Oh I don't really need her. I was just going to visit her," Mouth said, sitting down in the same chair Peyton's ghost angel had been sitting in.

_Like hell you don't need her. Everyone needs Brooke Davis_, Peyton said to herself. Every now and then she still slipped those bitter remarks, whether or not she meant them. "How've you been, Mouth? Haven't talked to you in awhile."

Mouth shrugged and clasped his hands together. "Not so bad, I guess. I hear you haven't been too good. Sorry about the whole...brother thing. Not cool."

Peyton nodded. "You're right. Not cool. Not at all."

There was an awkward silence; the two didn't really know each other anymore and both of them realized it. _What's happening to me?_ Peyton thought. _Have I really removed myself from everyone's lives this much?_ Sadly, she knew the answer.

Then Peyton's phone rang and saw Lucas's name on the caller id. She held her phone in her hands and just stared at it.

"Are...you going to get that?" Mouth asked, slowly.

Peyton set the phone down in front of her and shook her head. "Nope."

"It was Lucas, wasn't it?"

Peyton nodded.

It wasn't a minute till Mouth's phone rang next. "Oh...it's Luke." Mouth looked at Peyton before he opened his phone. "Hello?"

"Mouth. Haley. She's in labor. Having the baby," Lucas said.

"Now?!"

"Now," Lucas said, who was pacing back in forth in front of the room where Haley was.

"Well I'll be there soon then. See you later," Mouth said, shutting his phone.

Peyton looked at him questioningly, not wanting to ask.

"Haley's having her baby," Mouth said, standing up quickly. "Come on, let's go."

Peyton's eyes widened and she rolled out of bed, suddenly feeling guilty that she didn't answer her phone.

As the two of them made it to the hospital, clearly driving speeds way over the limit, they jumped out of the vehicle and made it into the waiting room, greeting all of their friends and family, or Haley and Nathan's family anyways.

"She have it yet?" Mouth asked, as he sat down in a chair next to Karen.

Peyton, walking in a little slower than Mouth, sat down in a seat across from Mouth and Karen.

"Nope, but it'll be any minute now," Karen said, excitedly. Haley was like her own daughter, she couldn't be more excited for her.

Peyton noticed Brooke wasn't there, and noticing the absence of Brooke, she realized Lucas was gone too.

"Where's Brooke?" Mouth asked. "And...Lucas?"

Peyton sighed with relief that she didn't have to ask it.

-----------------------------------------------

"Can I get a doctor?! Something's wrong with her," Lucas said loudly, as he helped Brooke into the emergency room. If he'd had his way, he would be carrying her in there, but she wasn't going to allow that by any means.

Brooke was holding her breath as she felt tears plastered on her cheeks. _Hang in there_, Brooke kept telling herself. _Everything'll be fine_. She let out her breath and a loud wince leaked out along with it.

A nurse came around the desk to get to Brooke. "What's...wrong with her?" she asked Lucas.

Lucas moved his arm from around her shoulders to around her waist. "I don't know..."

The nurse put her in a wheel chair and took her away. Lucas just watched and had his arms out still, before he realized that he should follow. He ran to catch up and followed them to a room.

"Honey, can you tell us what's wrong?" a doctor asked Brooke.

Brooke swallowed hard and wiped her face. "I'm pregnant...and something's not right," she answered. Brooke did everything she could not to look at Lucas, she was too embarrassed that he hadn't even known yet.

Lucas just looked at Brooke. Her back was to him, and he widened his eyes, looking from her to the doctor.

The doctor took Brooke into an examining room and asked Lucas to wait outside.

_Pregnant?_ Lucas repeated in his head. He didn't know whether to be concerned for the baby, or to be mad that he hadn't known. Lucas ran his fingers through his soft, feather-like hair and moved them to his hips. He went back to the waiting room where he knew his friends and family were to be waiting.

"Lucas, where've you been?" Karen asked, once he slowly came in and sat down.

Lucas licked his lips. "I...there was some traffic," he answered.

"Well where's Brooke?" Mouth asked, totally overlooking the thought that Lucas was the one that called _them_ in the first place.

Lucas furrowed his eyebrows getting ready to pretend like he didn't know what he was talking about, but gave in. "She's with a doctor," Lucas said. "She wasn't feeling good."

"Is she sick?" the questions preceded.

Lucas shoved his hands into his pockets and nodded. "I think so; I don't know what's wrong with her, but something is," he lied.

Karen stood up from her chair. "Well what happened?" she asked, showing growing concern from Brooke.

"I went to her house to get her to bring her here, and she was..." Lucas pictured the image of Brooke in such pain again, the pain in her eyes, and obviously inside of her. "She just looked like something was wrong. So when we got here, it didn't get better, so I took her to the ER."

Just then, Nathan walked into the room proudly. Everyone turned around abruptly.

"He's..." Nathan said. "..perfect."

They all stood up. It had finally come; Nathan and Haley's first child. "Oh Nathan!" Deb jumped up and ran to give her son a hug. Uncomfortably, he accepted just for her sake. He somewhat pushed her off, and nudged his shoulder, signalling for his friends and family to go to the room.

Once they got in, a beautifully mesmerized Haley was holding her son, looking down at him. When she saw that her friends and family had come in, a bigger smile swept across her face.

"Awh, he's _beautiful_," Peyton said with a smile, totally forgetting the awkwardness that was surrounding her prior to this.

"What's his name?" Lucas asked immediately. God forbid the poor kid who was ever stuck with a middle name like Eugene.

Haley looked up at Nathan, who was now sitting on the edge of the bed with his wife, and he smiled back at her. "Andrew Keith Scott," Haley said boldly.

"Drew Scott," Mouth repeated, playing with the name. "Next basketball star. I can already see it."

Nathan smiled. "Oh. Me too."

After a couple of minutes of gooing over the baby and talking, someone slowly walked into the room, trying not to be noticed, but everyone turned and noticed anyways.

"Hi Brooke!" Haley excitedly said, seeing her best friend.

Brooke smiled politely, which was odd for her, but not at the moment, and walked over to her friends. "Hey Tutormom," Brooke said, inching up to the baby. She looked down at him and smiled. "Haley," she said shaking her head. "He's...perfect. I'm so proud of you. I'm proud _for_ you." Brooke swallowed hard and bit her lip.

Haley smiled up at her, knowing something was wrong. They _all_ knew something was wrong, considering Lucas told them all there was, but they just looked passed it and reversed their attention back to the baby.

Brooke slowly found herself backed away from them, when a nurse broke through them to take the baby for routine tests and procedures. As everyone walked out of the room talking and cheery over the new birth of Andrew Scott, Brooke stayed back with Haley for a minute.

"Brooke, where were you?" Haley asked, knowing that Brooke was supposed to be in there for the birth.

Brooke sighed and swallowed hard. "Hales, I'll talk to you about it another time, all right? This...this is your time; the perfect day." Brooke smiled and hugged her best friend gently before starting back to the door. "Congratulations. I'm..." she shook her head. "I'm _so_ happy for you. You have no idea."

Haley smiled sadly, and nodded. "Thanks Brooke."

As Brooke walked out of the door, all of her friends had parted their ways to the waiting room or alternate places, so she turned to her left to head to an elevator. She needed a place to think.

"Brooke," she heard. She swallowed hard and winced at the voice. Turning around, she saw Lucas lean up from the wall right outside of Haley's door. He took a couple of steps forward before he just randomly stopped. "Brooke, what...was that?"

"I'm sorry," she said.

"Sorry? Just talk to me for once, all right? Don't apologize. Just talk to me." He talked with sincerity, despite the minute anger he had inside of him. He pushed it back, realizing that right now, that wasn't going to get him anywhere with her right now. He just watched her fight for the words. She slowly developed tears in her eyes, as she sighed, pushing her hair up and out of her face.

"Lucas," she stated his name. That's all she knew to say right now, she regretted the way he had to find out. And she was torn over the fact that _that_'s not all she has to tell him. It was just too much, everything; it was all just too much.

"Look," he said, inching closer to her. "We can go down into the coffee shop and just talk." He needed to know about her pregnancy; he had to be there for her, whether or not she wanted him to be. He obviously had that answer anyways, considering that she'd yet to tell him.

Brooke shook her head. "Lucas, I can't do this to you. It's..." She sighed. "Okay. Come on, let's go."' She stepped aside and made her way to an elevator, as did Lucas. There was an awkward silence in the elevator, and she wouldn't look at him. It wasn't until they sat down at a table next to a window on the main level of the hospital that she looked at him. The way she saw it was that she had no other choice.

"Do you want anything?" he asked cautiously.

"No."

He nodded. "Right. Me neither."

"Just about 4 months along," Brooke said all of a sudden. Brooke folded her hands on her lap and looked at him.

Lucas's breaths were shaking, and he felt his heart beating faster. "So you..._are_ pregnant."

Brooke ignored his statement; she just needed to tell him everything on her own terms. This was now. "When I first found out, I was scared to death. I mean, it was _real_ this time. It wasn't like...last time." She wiped her eyes and tried to hold back. "This was right about when you were falling for Peyton."

Lucas shook his head and held his face in his hands, which were propped up by his elbows on the table.

"I was planning on leaving town, Lucas. I was planning on moving to California with my parents, and leave Tree Hill behind. I wasn't sure what I was going to do about the baby. But I doubt it was going to be good, because my parents..." She shook her head. "They already think I'm a slut. How great would've that been if they knew I'd been knocked up, too?"

"Brooke."

"But then, I started to get excited. I felt my baby. It was real Lucas. This was just a couple of weeks ago. But then, the things I was feeling weren't good anymore," Brooke said. "And I knew something wasn't right. But I just kept putting it off, thinking it was normal. I mean, what did _I_ know about being pregnant, seriously."

"Brooke, if you would've just _talked to me about it_, I could've been there for you. I would've been right by your side in a second," he told her.

Brooke held her words for a second and just watched him. "Luke, why is it that you'll only be by my side when something's wrong? I mean, it's great that you say you'll be there for me when I need you, but what about all the other times? Huh? I'm a _big girl_, Lucas. I try to take care of things. But why is it that you'll only be there when I can't take care of things? And is it even surprising that all those other times, you're with Peyton?"

"Don't say Peyton," he said. "I'm done with that, all right? And I'm sorry that I haven't been there for you like you wish I was. I really am, but with Derek...she's just been a little shaken up. And she's got no one else. But now? Brooke, I'm here. I'm here for _you_. Now."

Brooke swallowed hard. "Then today happened. The pain...it just over took me. Swept me off my feet."

Lucas sat back in his seat.

"In the emergency room, they took all sorts of tests. In fact, I'm supposed to go back for them to...finish...later today," Brooke said. She started to cry; it all just hit her at once.

Lucas sat up quickly at the sight of her tears. "Hey," he said. "Hey, it's all right. I'm right here. What happened?"

Brooke shook her head. "It's not all right," she stated. "My...our baby's dead, Lucas."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nathan and Haley were sitting in the bed together, both holding their new son. "I'm so proud of you. Look at him; God, I can't believe we have a _son_."

Haley smiled. "I know. And look, he's got your nose, and your mouth. And your dark hair."

"And my basketball skills," Nathan joked.

"Oh, Nathan, shut up. Whatever our son chooses to do will be all right with me."

"As long as it doesn't have to do with tights, I'm all for him," Nathan said.

Haley smiled and just took in the moment. Who would've thought this would be happening a couple of years ago, when they first got married? Everyone thought they were a huge joke. The fact that they were even together was unreasonable. And now? Now they're starting a new Scott realm.

"Do you think he'll ever despise me like you despise Deb?" Haley asked, worriedly. She shook her head. "I mean, I understand where _you're_ coming from and everything, but...I don't think I could take it, if he ever felt that way about me. If he was ever disappointed in me like you are."

Nathan stretched his arm around his wife and kissed her temple. "Not a chance. You're nothing like my mom, and hopefully...he'll be nothing like me."

"Oh, he'll be _just_ like you. And that's the best thing I can hope for."

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**No cliff-hanger this time. I just felt like shutting off this scene so I could develop my own place to start from next chapter. **

**REVIEW :. **


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